A Cure for the Wild Animal (Althesia)

[anhydrous]

“The reasons don’t matter,” she said quickly, a lengthening pause where she did little else than stare into her wine making her regret such swift words. Although she had known that her bronzer wasn’t happy, she didn’t seem to have thought that he would have come to that conclusion by himself.

Many were quick to assure themselves of happiness, assure themselves of anything to smother the ugly possibilities that they might never reach such goals. Whatever ire she held for J’rad’s sardonic nature was slipping into indifference at the realization that this man was much more than a scowl and terse words.

With a drink to collect her thoughts and give reason for the extended silence, Althesia settled her glass back into her lap with a crooked half-smile. “Your answer signals the problem,” she said simply, although, she was sure that J’rad had already figured that out. “To be honest,” a pause for another drink, “I don’t have a definitive answer.” Althesia didn’t bother to mention that she was suffering from the same fate as her wild bronzer, didn’t bother to mention really anything else at all.

Her next words were almost regretful, laced perhaps, with the hint of the vintage that she had been so graciously drinking throughout dinner. “The easy cure, of course, is more wine,” she offered, although it was a sore consolation after such bravado. “The more difficult one, which I have yet to test myself, would be to change.” It was offered as if the words were of much substance, when in reality, they were not.

To change. That could have so many meanings, so many possibilities lurking under its slippery surface. Althesia’s tone implied nothing, her posture, also void of any clues. She sat full into the back of her chair, cutlery long since forgotten as she nursed the glass in her hand. With an apologetic set to her plain features, the artist shrugged at her dinner companion and took another drink.

[dragon]

J'rad allowed the long, awkward silence to fill the room as he took a sip or two of the drink. "The reasons do matter in the sense that they caused the outcome", he almost seemed to snap back at her for contradicting him, yet in all honesty J'rad's line of thought wasn't anywhere near it. It was the bronzerider too eager to give his opinion.

He took the glass to his lips again as he pondered over the short term and long term answers that were given. In time, there would be enough wine in J'rad's system to make him act completely out of his character but he'd only wake up the next day in the same manner but with a pounding headache no doubt. The long term answer wasn't all that great either. It was hard to change turns of habit. But J'rad knew he'd have to change if he were to fulfill his duties as wingsecond and be a good one under S'lyn. S'lyn was a man who demanded unity and comradery of his wing, something the lone wolf would have to grasp the concept of quickly.

"I'll take both. I've no choice but to change with my new position anyway. But that will take time. Time enough that this short remedy will work it's magic for a spell", was J'rad's response. Why not have both? Why not work on the slow method and take the quickest tonight? Seemingly out of his character, J'rad took a sip of the wine that would be considered violent compared to the way he had been drinking so delicately before. If this were to make him happy, to rid him of his dark mind for even an evening then it was worth a shot. It didn't make logical sense to want to not be happy and go on with how things had always been, so why not let loose just a little. Even if it were just one time.

[anhydrous]

If Althesia was offended by J’rad’s terse quip she didn’t bother to waste the energy showing it. Hell, anything was better than silence, and besides, she was already learning to ignore her bronzer’s gruff tone. She was acclimating ‘annoyed’ to ‘normal’ and anything other than ‘pissed-off’ to ‘interesting’.

When he hadn’t forcibly shoved her out of his weyr at what she considered two very disappointing answers, Althesia chalked that up to ‘interesting’ and made herself more comfortable in her chair.

Mostly she was still preoccupied with the notion that J’rad had considered her cures as something that he should pursue. It seemed out of character for him to rely on anyone else for help, especially the words of what Althesia was sure he considered her: a silly girl. It seemed that she had been wrong again. There really was more to this man than she had anticipated, and that knowledge, or perhaps the wine in her stomach, was beginning to make the atmosphere between them decidedly less tense.

The bronzerider’s determined response and enthusiastic draw of wine earned a raised eyebrow from the amused woman, one leg draped over the arm of her chair as she lifted her glass. “That’s the spirit,” she responded as warmly as she dared. Tipping back her head, Althesia mirrored his enthusiasm but emptied her own glass. “Perhaps it will cure me too,” she said dubiously.

Honestly, Althesia was pleased indeed that J’rad had decided to loosen up a little. Of course, she kept that thought to herself. Perhaps with a slack tongue he might actually tell her something she didn’t know, and it might serve to clear up the doubt and uncertainty that had been hovering around her head since the morning out at the lake.

Glancing towards the bottle, Althesia willed it to pour itself while she sent an uncharacteristically shy query in J’rad’s direction. “Did you find any more of the depth and honesty you saw earlier?” She asked quietly. If he had seen her eyes he might notice the sliver of hope riding on those words, so she kept her gaze trained on the smooth glass of the wine bottle.

[dragon]

Truth be told, J'rad already found himself out of character around Althesia. What was it that made him act so differently around her? It was a question that he constantly persued, but never grasped. To anyone, such as the greenrider from the lake, it was easy to be angry and irritable. But around her, he wanted to be different and he found himself irritable at such a thing. Perhaps it showed, perhaps the conflict and utter annoyance at his own new found attitude was made obvious throughout. It was something like a wild animal fighting to not be tamed. A futile fight in the end, but the wild animal always put up one.

He was quickly finishing the second glass, downing ever last drop and pouring himself another. He was so quick to find happiness or did he know he would be uninhibated when he found the state of drunkenness. Either way, he took a sip of the third glass as well. "Yes", was the simple reply as more wine was taken in. "Honestly you didn't come off as such a person. You were flirty and seemed to enjoy games. I'm not a man who enjoys such things so I had passed you off as someone who was fake or made a show of outer appearance. But I caught a glimmer of the real you at the lake. Something that rang true and that's been causing me to constantly question myself", J'rad explained, glad any buzz or sign of drunkenness was far off for now. "Consider this. I'm not desiring who you pretend to be but I'm interested in the person you really are. That's why I invited you here and why I wanted you to explain this cure of yours. Whether or not you truely had one, this setting would allow me to get to know who you truely are", J'rad spoke even further. "And quite frankly, I find it out of character to grow a liking to someone", he added shortly after, implying that he atleast acknowledged that he was taking a liking to the woman. Perhaps not in any intimate sense, but atleast as a friend. He wasn't going to admit anything much farther than that to her or himself. The words were followed by yet another sip of the quickly tilted glass, practically throwing the wine into his mouth.

[anhydrous]

Finding his answer satisfactory, Althesia looked up to meet his eyes before pouring herself another glass of wine. “Perhaps then,” she countered, “I’m the cure.” The thought of it was not displeasing to her, for some strange reason, and J’rad’s admittance that he found her tolerable only spurned on her dangerous thoughts. If he needed a catalyst to change, she might be able to offer it.

The uncertain woman took a long drink from her glass, finding it hard to remember what number she was on. Three? Shoving that thought aside as she placed her wine of the table, Althesia made sure it was just out of comfortable reach before she continued. “If you find yourself out of character when around me, perhaps I am the one who will make you change.” There was only the tiniest hint of her old nature in these words, mostly to speak of the possibilities that could be twisted from such a friendship. Not a suggestive tryst… but something deeper. Something that the bronzerider might appreciate. Then again, if he were filled with wine, he might appreciate the former.

At that Althesia reclaimed her glass, hoping to drown her assuming thoughts in the biting taste of the liquid it held.

[dragon]

J'rad pondered over what she had said as he was half way through his third glass. Could she be the catalyst for the change they had so talked about? It was so hard to view the world differently, to see all the wrong, the lack of morals, the coldness it had to offer and think something positive. It was like being stuck in a rut, seeing the conditions around you and knowing it would take long, drastic measures to change things. The world was harsh to J'rad, so J'rad became harsh to all the world.

However, his thoughts were starting to slur slightly. A buzz was starting to take place as he noticed he was going so rapidly through this glass of wine. Was he so lost in thought that he didn't notice how much time had passed? He couldn't help but think of him as he was now and just how he would change, if he could. But thoughts kept fleeing back to Althesia, finding his focus more on her than anything. It annoyed the bronzerider to no end, as if he wanted to chase his mind away from her but never could, for long.

"Not so much you that will make me change as it is you would be a reason for me to change", J'rad's words slipped out of his mouth. He was still completely coherent, but thoughts became more outspoken, as the rider was anyway. But these were more intimate thoughts, thoughts that J'rad wouldn't have shared with anyone under such circumstances. Perhaps he thought of this woman so much, because perhaps she was the first to reach out, the first that J'rad could see as a friend. But had his words implied something else or perhaps he thought something deeper? Either time or more wine would tell.

[anhydrous]

She should have had more to eat, something heartier. The fact that she hadn’t was becoming more apparent as she tore through glasses of wine, each one harmlessly muddling her senses. That’s all it was, really. It softened her words and her thoughts, making each sip of wine sweeter, easier to down as she tipped back her head and exposed the slim column of her neck.

“Oh” she replied at length, not exactly assuming, but skating on the fringes of what might be considered acceptable. It seemed that all of her words were dancing like that now, as if it was a burden to be coherent. “I’m not sure I’ve ever been someone’s reason to change,” she mused with the slightest of satisfaction. With one hand poised at her jaw, fingers brushing against her skin absently, a furrow creased her brow as she thought of another question. “Am I your first?” she asked vaguely.

The true meaning of that query might have been lost to the bottle of wine, its seemingly endless supply beginning to grow short. In truth she could have been asking a variety of things, intentions muddled as she formed the words, again when she spoke them, and yet again when they reached J’rad’s ears. Uncaring of such possibilities she placed her empty glass on the table, neglecting to pour herself another. The artist would let J’rad finish it, she was incoherent enough already.

[dragon]

"My first what?", the bronzerider answered with raised eyebrow, still enough of his old and coherent self to assume such normal posture. The remains of the third glass were slipping away quickly. Just what did she mean by that? She could have been his first in many things, and not his first in others. The question was so vague and general that even under normal circumstances J'rad would question it.

The last sip of wine from this glass held loosely on J'rad's lips. He wanted to hear her answer before a fourth glass was to be poured and by the end of that one, all coherency lost. He didn't much care what would happen when he lost all his inhabitions, he was too busy focused on the moment and this immediate solution as well. The bronzerider uncharacteristically licked his lips, savoring every little taste of wine he could muster before he gave in to pouring another one. Perhaps he feared the moment he stopped tasting it, the moment he would start to lose the buzz and everything that went with it as well as everything after. But this was not likely, J'rad still held his adoration for the taste of wine as he did when he started the first.

However, he was comfortable enough by now to slouch back in his chair and rest himself idley across it, instead of the rigid posture he held before. To further give in to this new level of comfort, the bronzerider stretched and yawned, a few joints cracking in the process that only gave further imagery to J'rad's rigid, stone posture.

[anhydrous]

“Oh, I don’t know,” came Althesia’s belayed reply. After a moment of deliberation, some semblance of articulation returned to her gaze which brightening her thoughtful eyes considerably. Even with the newfound clarity she posed her thought more as a question of her own than an answer, and groped for the correct words and tone. “Reason to change?”

Catching the opportunity primly, Althesia rose, surprisingly fluid, and grasped the neck of the wine bottle. Nothing in her motions would mark her drunk, gracefully filling her companion’s cup with what remained. Still she didn’t spill a drop, setting the bottle back down and leaning absently against the edge of the table.

With both hands spread against the smooth surface behind her, her eyes drifted slowly from J’rad’s wine glass to his eyes. There was a dare somewhere deep in her stare, but her lush lips remained still. She made no move to sit back down, her shoulders deliciously hunched and smooth collarbones making a cage for her delicate neck.

[dragon]

J'rad had to ponder further into that question. Was she? Or was it his new position? Or Arcaith? All three were intertwined, with Arcaith working out the finer details to allow this woman into the web. "A...multitude of recent events", J'rad tried to search for his answer, finding it not so easy to put thought to spoken word. "But you are the catalyst", J'rad finally clarified.

He watched her moves and what he could rationaly, or atleast slightly so, think as a kind gesture quickly turned to something else it seemed. J'rad now had another glass of wine but Althesia was in a posture he'd have expected from her far earlier, before such serious conversation. He couldn't help but think if she meant for all this? To get him to ask her to his weyr, get him drunk, then make her moves. Was it all about a meaningless night to her in the end? Didn't J'rad make this clear that it's not what he wanted?

Well the man was buzzing too hard to bite back hard against this. However, he did raise his eyebrow again, questioning her gesture. What did she want? What was this move, this position of hers? He'd hope it wasn't what he was thinking, very rational thinking under the circumstances mind you. "Yes?", he finally allowed unspoken question to become spoken as he took a sip of the wine she so graciously poured. Still he remained composed enough not to show that his mind was racing with different thoughts, running through each possibility and marking each one he didn't like.

[anhydrous]

Althesia watched the dashing of her bronzer’s thoughts through the windows of his eyes, his all-too-expected response disappointing her slightly. Apparently she was a shoddy catalyst. With thoughts and intentions that she didn’t quite understand, Althesia let one word slip from between her lips. It was soft, tender, and meant to evoke a response that might tell her of J’rad’s honest, however compromised, feelings. “Goodnight,” she said with a simple and well-mannered smile.

Not swaggering like one would suspect, the artist took a few tentative steps towards the door. Would he let her leave? She lingered subtly, giving him plenty of time to request that she stay. Either way, his reaction could paint a clear enough picture of his purpose. Without a look over her shoulder that might give her away, Althesia slipped like sand through J’rad’s fingers. He would have to make up his mind quickly or his dinner companion would be literally lost to the night.

[dragon]

J'rad gave a heavy sigh. The man was conflicted. He didn't want to be just some other man on the woman's list, but he didn't want her to leave either. He took another sip of wine, as if to use it to grasp his decision completely. He placed the glass down and rose. Carefully he made his way to the door, grace and confident step somewhat lost in his current state.

He approached the door and leaned his hand against it and stared back at Althesia. He'd love to hold a more clear headed chat with her now, but he was too drunk to have such a conversation, though not so to realize it was beyond him at this point. "I'd like...a conversation of my own", his words slightly slurred but a tone that implied he wasn't finished. "Positions reversed. But I'm not in condition", he spoke further, clearly he felt a bit blurry from trying to be so coherent. "But if you wanted a decision...on...my end. Then you do have it", he continued to muster up words, frantically searching for them. "Stay. I'll learn to be a gracious host", a sly smile played his features for a first time. He wasn't intending this to lead where she may think, but only time would tell that. For now, he wanted to relish in her company. Whether she got what she wanted or not, he'd already have what he wanted. But perhaps he could be coherent enough to speak his mind on some things he'd intended in this chat he mentioned.

J'rad approached her, ever slowly and stumbling. He wasn't really coming on to her or making any moves. He was simply trying to get the both of them away from the door. Though, it did seem more difficult for J'rad than her. But by his guess, he had a bit more wine than she did. "But do allow me to finish what remains of my wine before saying goodnight", he spoke as he stopped the futile attempt at approaching her without tripping over his own feet, the alcohol still slowly affecting him with every passing moment, "...next time". Had he really meant to say that aloud at the end? He intended to have her over again under similiar circumstances? Seemed so.

[anhydrous]

Pleased, but not cocky, Althesia allowed her position to overtaken. It was hard to tell just want she wanted from her bronzer, wine and animal instinct melding with their conversation and his clear disapproval. Standing now with an obstacle in her path, Althesia slid closer than she had ever dared in order to challenge him. His broad chest was quite the distraction from his slurred words; his shirt hiding the scars that she knew was there. “I’ll stay,” she decided, her face dangerously close to that of her bronzer’s. His mentions of another conversation were promising, but he clearly wasn't in the right state to talk now.

Backing into his weyr as if she were leading him instead of the other way around, Althesia once again settled herself against the table. If he wanted her here, it would be strictly on her terms… terms that she wasn’t quite sure of, at the moment. Eventually he’d come around to whatever it was that she wanted, and she would wait as patiently as she could manage. Really though, she wasn’t sure he hadn’t already accepted her advances. J’rad’s words weren’t actually easy to understand, and they would undoubtedly become more convoluted if he finished his wine as he had suggested.

After a lengthy pause to allow J’rad to reclaim his drink, the artist again tried to test the waters. “What do you want from me, bronzerider?” Perhaps using a question from midday had been well planned and coy, but Althesia was beyond attempting to coerce J’rad into a favorable position. This time around her question wasn’t careful and honest, it was blatantly suggestive. Nothing in her tone implied that she would be against anything he could think of by way of an answer.

[dragon]

J'rad was guided back to the table and slumped in his chair, taking his wine eagerly. His posture was very casual as he took sip after sip. But yet she posed a question to the man drowning away all clarity. J'rad eyed the woman, a sort of wild flicker in his eye as he did so.

"Friendship, hope, to be something more", the words spilled quickly from his mouth, but were more general than the bronzerider would usually allow. Perhaps the first was clear enough, but the other two would probably have to be made clearer when J'rad himself was clearer of mind. For now, she was free to interpret, but hopefully she would ask about these things later.

However, it was what she wanted from him that would perplex the man. He wanted to be with Althesia, but not in the way she was with other men. He was bound and determined to be something more than a bed partner. His statements of honesty and depth, earlier, clarified that.

With bottle in hand, J'rad stood. He didn't ask if the woman needed more mind, nor cared how much was or wasn't in her cup. The man simply poured away, into her glass before settling the bottle down rather noisely and a tad messy with a few drops here and there. He flashed her a smile that only this state would allow and went back to slouch in his chair, pushing it far back from the table as he did so. However, he was just within range of the table to lean up and take his glass, along with what remnants remained of his wine. He leaned back into the chair and took eager sips.

[anhydrous]

“That’s all well and good,” Althesia said distractedly, working herself up into a delightful little fluster as she watched him pour her glass, “But what about what I want?” J’rad’s dashing smile caused Althesia to break the frown she had been crafting, laughing aloud at the undeniably positive effect it had on his face. He was darling really, so many quirks wrapped into one impossible package.

At that thought she snatched at the stem, bringing the alcohol to her mouth and drawing at it with clear irritation. It was almost cute the way she slammed the fragile glass back down, her eyes just as wild and haunted as her bronzer’s.

“You never ask,” she accused, taking the smallest step away from the table and then reaching to steady herself on it, “Never give me a chance to show you. Everything is tossed away like I’m playing a game.” She sunk dejectedly into her chair, reaching back to pull the paintbrush from her carefully crafted bun. With the support gone, her hair fell around her shoulders in large swimming coils, twisting within itself as she slammed the paintbrush next to her glass and ran her fingers across her scalp. “Maybe all I know how to do is play games,” she suggested with a slur, her hair threading though her graphite-stained hands.

As if some clarity had suddenly stuck her at those offhanded words, Althesia’s expression turned grim. Inwardly she knew what she wanted, and it wasn’t that far off from what she had drunkenly gleaned from J’rad’s words. Why was it so difficult when sex wasn’t just sex anymore?