More Than A Broken Hand?(Althesia, Rivaly)

[dragon]

J'rad simply grunted at Rivaly's response to him. Not satisfied with the words, but complying anyway. Fine. Let this woman see what she could do. And if his words were truely hurting Althesia, then might as well stop for the time being anyway. Atleast until he was in a different frame of mind. Though for J'rad, he didn't seem to have many of those. He seemed to have one or two gears and nothing more.

[anhydrous]

Althesia found herself struggling past two equally strong inclinations. One was to unleash her claws into Rivaly for speaking harshly to her bronzer, the other to praise her for silencing him. Both possibilities crossed her down-turned face, dancing and leaping through her mind’s eye with the unpleasant possibilities.

As much as she hated to admit it, watching J’rad wordlessly take orders from another woman was bordering on insulting, especially when he had been so adamantly against such a thing no more than a moment ago. Regardless, Althesia had composed herself enough by the time that she looked up to Rivaly so that none of her delicious hatred would be too horribly clear. Her tone could have been attributed to a myriad of things, so she left it raw and unshielded. “I’m not pretending anything,” she said caustically, “And quite frankly, I don’t even know how I feel.” She shot a glare at J’rad, one that would trump any intensity that he could manage to call up.

Inwardly she attempted to soften the scowl, but immediately found that she couldn’t. Instead she looked back towards Rivaly with a gleam in her eye that suggested might finally be ready to actually work something out. It was an abrupt mood shift, an occurrence that was no stranger in Althesia’s life. “I don’t apologize often,” she said suddenly, her broken tone and expression conveying how truly conflicted she was. “So when I say I’m sorry, I am sorry.” That seemed simple enough. Words rarely used carried more meaning, right? J'rad obviously didn't understand.

It was for him that she annunciated, each emphasis pointed, biting, and she shifted to speak them directly to him half way through. “I’m sorry that I slept with J’fel,” she spat brazenly, failing at her attempt to coerce warmth into her tone. “I should not have. Not because I didn’t want to. Not because you didn’t want me to." For the tiniest fraction of a second she paused, just long enough to realize her own point. It surprised her, but nothing in the world felt more natural than to admit it. Her irate scowl hid the actual meaning, but she proclaimed her secret as passionately as any woman ever had. "Because I love you!”

Instead of a tender heartfelt admission where one came to terms with an unspoken emotion, Althesia was furious. Everything about her posture said so. For now, she was even too angry to realize that the healer now knew the name of the man who had come between them. Biting down hard on one cuticle, she completely ripped it off just to relish in the hot metallic taste of blood in her mouth. The word savage comes to mind.

[blueaid]

There are times and places when silence is the only response. This was one of those times.

Rivaly said nothing, her eyes turned to the dragonrider now to let him have the first word in response to this apparent revelation. Also, she twitched a little at the harper's masochistic little well of blood, but she tried to keep that well under wraps.

Despite her admonition a moment ago to be quiet, it was obvious by her expectant expression that she was waiting for J'rad's response. And if she caught that it was the Weyrleader who had caused all this? She kept that hidden behind her expression.

[dragon]

J'rad all too readily shot back a glare at Althesia. It seemed like some challenge for a moment as eyes met with such intensity one would think sparks would fly. J'rad, himself, was still conflicted and confused. He was angry at what she did. But why? Didn't he say earlier that to ask that of her would be too much? Well, he was actually being rational back then. And as rationality had little to do with anger, it had little to do with most other emotions. However, J'rad usually wasn't an emotional person. He was straight, rigid, cold, rock hard.

She didn't know how she felt? Well, J'rad was just as perplexed with how he felt. It was as if two sides were at war with each other against him. His rational thought against his swirling and powerful emotions. Powerful, very powerful. He hadn't felt such intensity for quite some time. He was use to dulling himself, his emotions, to most things. But this was vastly different. He couldn't help but not react in an emotional manner when it came to her.

However, he seemed to soften ever so slightly when she mentioned apology. J'rad had to admit she didn't seem like one who would apologize often at all. So when she put emphasis on that and her apology, he was practically readying himself to accept it. Still reluctant, but eager to do so. Eager, however, wasn't a word associated with J'rad so he had to admit such a thing felt strange to him.

Ah, but now she was getting to the root of the point. She even mentioned the man's name. That was sure to cause questions or curiousity later, especially if it got out to others. J'rad was right not to give the other man's name. He was atleast rational enough to let that be Althesia's decision.

But it was the admittance of her feelings that truely took J'rad off guard. That stone cold figure seemed washed away as his jaw literally dropped from his closed mouth, scowling position that he was all too famous for into an open, gaping mouth that was actually shocked. Shocking J'rad was a rare thing too, not to mention washing away that seemingly permanent scowl.

She loved him? That wasn't something J'rad was use to at all. Love was only a word he could connect to the relationship between his dragon and himself, but that was something different. He'd never known any other that truely loved him, and said it. What of his parents? Didn't they? A story for another time perhaps. J'rad remained speechless for some time as rational thought lost it's victory to those powerful emotions.

Now he knew. Now he understood his feelings. He now had a good grip on them. It would have been all too obvious to him had he known such positive feelings throughout his life. But in this light, there was understanding. J'rad's usual rigid self seemed to give way to a broken, defeated man as he turned to the side for a moment and sighed heavily before returning a gaze to Althesia's eyes. For once, for one brief time, they held soft tenderness. Such a rare, once in a life time gaze seemed to look and reach deep into Althesia, as if down to her very heart and soul. "Then it's become obvious to me...", he trailed off and paused for what seemed like an eternity. For him it was as if time had stopped, as if reality didn't exist. This knew realization and admission warped his reality. "I love you, as well", he finally ended. In an instant he seemed to fall back from space to Pern with an impact. What a very strange feeling this was. He winced at the seeming "impact" his world took and looked away again.

Now was the aftermath. The aftermath of his realization and words, even the expressions given. They were all so unnaturally J'rad. Had she truely changed him so much? Had she really had that much of an impact in his life? Apparently so. Apparently she was the "cure" that this lone, wild animal had been in need of. For a first, J'rad felt some part of him that he'd never felt before. It was without description to him, but he was beginning to understand it.

[anhydrous]

Rivaly didn't look very surprised to be privy to such a dramatic show of emotions. She wore the seasoned expression of someone who had heard it all, a talent that Althesia would have found impressive had the healer fallen within her scope of consciousness. For the moment she was too distracted to really notice, her mind imprisoned by fury and teeth still working to tear the skin away from her fingers.

Whatever pain she should have felt was replaced with a grim satisfaction as callouses from previous temper-tantrums were stripped and replaced with bleeding sores. She wasn't proud to do such a thing, in fact, it was more subconscious than anything else. It was disgusting yet soothing, her eyebrows knitted as she attempted to push aside enough of her anger to hear J'rad's response.

Was she nervous? Yes. 'Nervous' didn't even begin to describe the anxiety that tore gashes in her usual indifference. Now that she had admitted it, the shock of actually caring for a person was beginning to set it. The thought of losing him was too great to bear, her mind running circles as she hid behind the destruction of her hands.

More pressing was the matter of a possible rejection, fear flashing in her heated stare as her bronzer sighed and met her eyes. Was that beautiful tenderness acceptance, or was it pity? She glared from one eye to the other, fury slowly melting away as she sought to decipher the unspoken sentiments passing between them. By the time he had verbally admitted his love she was already sure of it, their eyes locked together perfectly for an endless moment. Althesia didn't just want him, she needed him. J'rad was the steadiness in her life, the anchor that she could rely on while she fought past endlessly shifting moods and whirlwind thoughts. He defined her when she deserved to be fought, and it was finally clear that he loved her more than any other man could ever begin to. After all, the harper was certainly not an easy woman to trust, and definitely not to love.

It was he who finally broke the contact, perhaps coming to terms with what exactly he had just done. He had claimed her. Not with his body as so many others had, but with his heart. She sincerely hoped that he didn't regret it. Maybe it was as a consolation that Althesia silently sat down next to him on the cot, her face wiped of anger and irritation as she took her newly defined place by his side. She felt indescribably good, almost like she didn't deserve it. This fuss had been her fault in the first place, after all.

But now things had been fixed, hadn't they? Did it really matter if she had shared J'fel's bed? Something told her that this wasn't entirely over, a nagging suspicion picking at the relief that she was trying to enjoy. Would J'rad be able to let this go? Would he be suspicious when she had to spend hours in the Weyrleader's weyr while working on the painting? Either way, it couldn't really be helped. With an inward shrug that was mirrored by the slightest twitch of her shoulders, Althesia let her concerns settle to a place that could be easily smothered by a liberal dose of alcohol.

Glancing up to Rivaly with her lips ever so slightly parted, Althesia chose to let her pleasantly surprised expression do the talking. She probably should have thanked the healer for forcing them to admit what neither had the balls to consider, but honestly? That wasn't really her style. After a moment the artist removed her freshly massacred fingers from her mouth, careful not to let the trickling of blood find its way onto any of the infirmary's starched and sterilized bedlinens. True appreciation in the form of common courtesy, it seemed.

[blueaid]

Maybe Rivaly wasn't surprised. Maybe when a woman comes in angry and biting her nails, maybe when a man comes in with a bruised hand and there hasn't been an actual fight, there's no reason to assume anything but love-is-in-the-air. She said nothing for a long spell, she actually withdrew in the quietest way possible-- her things left on the tray, J'rad's hand sufficiently bandaged, her steps mouse-quiet while she left them.

Even she probably couldn't have seen that coming, but she never let on otherwise. Then, from a dozen steps away where she'd retired next to a counter, next to one of her countless volumes of scribbles, she offered up the most innocuous of comments: "You can go. Come back in two weeks to have a check-up, and the bandages will probably be off in four to six weeks." Like she'd certainly not been privy to such a personal moment between them, but wow! Would she have a lot of notes to take when they left!

[dragon]

J'rad was all too aware of every motion and expression Althesia made. She seemed settled now. She seemed content to know she had her bronzer's heart. And by all means that was no simple task. J'rad's heart incased in something cold and solid, as if it were glass. But it had a shape and a color to it. The shell seemed like a hard, round orb and a darkish purple that gave no vision of the true outlines or details of his heart. It was a dark orb, of sorts. Something, not entirely evil, but dark. A shell that all too easily took on an appearance in J'rad's permanent scowl. It was heard through every snort and irritated, sharp word of his.

This orb defined much of J'rad's life, appearance, and reputation. But for some reason, Althesia contradicted it. As if she could pierce him with just a touch, just a word, just a look. Like a glowing, heavenly arm reaching forward and proceeding through his chest as though his skin, muscles and bones had no physical form at all. A hand so bright that it's shape could barely be defined would seem to reach out and touch that dark orb that boasted itself J'rad's true form, when infact it was just a shell. And when this dainty, otherworldly hand would touch this dark orb, it would shatter into barely visible particles and his heart could be freed. A heart that showed J'rad's true nature, his true intent, behind frustrated words and expressions.

Satisfied that he knew this was one woman who could change him, who seemed to make him feel completely whole in a different way, he would let any apprehension of her previous actions go. After all, she did sincerely apologize and he had forgiven her. Logical and rational J'rad would see there to be no need of future arguement and trouble caused over this, if it were not to happen again. If she would not break his heart and shatter it, like she could that shell.

The only problem with that shell was even though she could scatter it to the four corners of Pern, it was still there. It would be apparent in any social setting, in most settings beyond the lone pairing of Althesia and J'rad. J'rad accepted, and even loved, Althesia. But the majority of the rest of the weyr, he still did not like or accept. Finding most to be clearly annoying, too caught up with themselves, or useless. Ah, J'rad. Would he continue his change beyond Althesia? Not likely.

With a satisfied smile, that just looked like an arrogant smirk of a bronzerider, J'rad stood up and placed his hand tenderly on Althesia's shoulder. "You heard her. We're free to go", J'rad probably said a bit too plainly and in that J'rad monotone that had become all too familiar when it seemed J'rad was indifferent to things or made attempt at small talk. That could quite possibly ruin the moment, if it weren't so apparent he was acting beyond the limits of typical J'rad. With that phrase, he took a couple steps and waited patiently for Althesia to rise and join him. The destination was obvious. They were going to return to his weyr.

As he would prepare to leave, he turned to the healer that hand been the stepping stone needed to get to this new level of their relationship. He simply nodded to her, a nod that was obvious of acknowledging her words as well as a thanking posture. Oh, but J'rad couldn't thank with words or make it obvious he gave a thank you. No, not proud J'rad. Despite this new found emotion, he did have a reputation to keep up. One that would still hold strong and true as his emtions changed only for Althesia and perhaps to the healer, but only beyond slight respect of the help given. Everyone else was free game.

[anhydrous]

Althesia stood to meet the expectant stare of her bronzer, imparting one last glance towards the healer before they left. Rivaly seemed one to embrace confidentiality, but the weyr was no place to keep a secret. It seemed that whispers followed the artist wherever she went; sly glances that lasted just a second too long paired with snide remarks uttered just loud enough so that they might be heard. Half the reason she had even told J’rad was so that he wouldn’t hear it from someone else.

Catching the satisfied glint in his eye, Althesia felt a whirl of unfamiliar sensations. No one had ever claimed her in such a way, and she didn’t know exactly what to think of it. “I want breakfast,” she declared in a small voice, matching his stride so that she could rest her head ever so slightly on his upper-arm. It was a gift of tenderness, a sign of her affection, reassurance wrapped in some sort of content guise. She hid her strife deftly, curling her fingers into her palms and ignoring the tightening sensation in her stomach.

An innocent tone masked such unease, her eyes cast carefully upwards in an inflection of sickly sweetness. “Can we eat it in bed?” Her long lashes framed her bottomless crystal stare, lips turned down slightly as if she were expecting a refusal. Althesia wasn’t accused of being manipulative very often, nor did she usually resort to asking for something when she could just take it, but how could someone say no to such a face? More importantly, would J’rad continue to insist that everything run by his plans? The harper woman didn’t plan to let him get away with that for very much longer.

[blueaid]

((Rivaly's out at this point. Good luck, lovebirds~))