Surprise, surprise!

[anhydrous]

Telgar was in a flurry of confusion. The group of long-gone riders had returned, bearing news of their exploits in the past. Everyone was busy.

Althesia took full advantage of this fact, spending the greater part of the day sitting in J’fel’s empty weyr sketching what would one day be the background of her vast painting. Perhaps she shouldn’t have let herself into the private quarters of the weyrleader, but it was quite clear that more important matters were keeping him from noticing, let alone caring.

In truth, Althesia probably should have been prying to find out just what was going on in order to report it to the Hall. Luckily for the enterprising (meddling?) J’fel, Althesia had just never really been that kind of harper. She had her assignment, and that was really her only concern. Well.. not her only concern.

It seemed that everyone had a mind stuffed full of things to ponder these days. As she traversed the twisting corridors that wove through the bowels of the weyr, Althesia’s mind was certainly occupied. She’d been distracted for the past month, all too aware of the peculiar feeling that was gripping her body. She had suspected the worst from the beginning, but each passing day was cementing the thought to permanence.

The entrance to J’rad’s weyr loomed ahead, the wooden door frighteningly familiar. It was late in the evening by now, and surely he’d be resting within the confines of his quarters. Pausing at the door, Althesia pressed her sketchbook to her chest and closed her eyes.

She wanted to run.

Instead she pushed open the door and kicked off her shoes, failing to mask her worry and fear. He had been asking what was wrong for the past sevenday, and tonight she was going to just tell him. There was no use hiding it any longer. Soon she wouldn’t be able to anyway.

[dragon]

J'rad had only previously gotten back from a night with his wing at S'lyn's. It was known that the wing would often hang around the wingleader's weyr and J'rad was making it a habit to be present more often. At this late hour, J'rad would usually be found at his table enjoying a glass of wine, a more refined characteristic of his. But he'd shared a few drinks over a game or two and decided more was not needed. J'rad was changing. Perhaps slowly, but he was changing. He'd never think to go to any social outing before, wingsecond or not.

Infact. J'rad had just slipped off his boots and put on something more comfortable. He had just slipped under the furs when he heard Arcaith's voice. Mine, your woman enters. In all his thoughts and preparations for a quiet moment, he hadn't heard her enter. And he simply ignored Arcaith's reference. It was true, to a point. She wasn't necessarily his. He didn't own her. But there was a defined relationship between them. He shifted to a sitting position on his bed and simply waited for her to come in further to find him. She'd been acting strange as of late. He obviously noticed it, but she was as of yet hesitant to tell him. She'd always switch subjects. If she didn't want to tell him, then fine. He knew he wasn't exactly the best person to talk to about private or personal matters. Still, being that he was in a relationship with this woman it did give him that want to hear what was troubling her. Such new emotions, feelings, and desires. J'rad was still getting use to a softer side of life. J'rad nudged his dragon's mind and the bronze was soon closing his eyes to fall asleep.

[anhydrous]

The soft darkness that had gathered around the room was very much appreciated. It served to hide the more blatant emotions plastering themselves to Althesia’s face, multiple forms of anxiety knotting her eyebrows and pulling the corners of her lips down.

For a second it seemed that J’rad wasn’t home yet, and relief surged in her chest. It was quickly smothered at she caught sight of his bare chest in the moonlight, the man staring expectantly from his place beneath the furs. She labored under that stare to drop her things on the table and make her way to the bed, not shedding her clothes as she normally did.

Sliding in next to him wordlessly, Althesia sighed. She sought the wrap of his arms, burying her face in his neck to smother her greeting of kisses. Words were rare in the nights between them, but the situations called for her to break the silence.

She could wait a little longer, couldn’t she? Let him enjoy the touch of her lips on his skin? Silently Althesia trembled, her breath catching in her throat while she tried to convince herself to speak. Fear of his reaction seemed to still every muscle that was required for speech, so she frowned into the crook of his neck just like she had every night that seven.

[dragon]

J'rad found Althesia making her way towards him and laying by his side. But this time, it was different. Althesia's routine was off. Though not perverted in origin, it was strange for J'rad that she didn't remove any of her clothing. Althesia was certainly more sexually driven than he was, and this was something he was use to. Something about this evening, about her was off. She nuzzled against him, it seemed as though she were seeking his support and comfort. J'rad simply allowed his actions to take over and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him if it were possible. He then leaned in and kissed her on the lips.

If Althesia noticed, his breath smelled of alcohol. He'd been out. But he wasn't drunk. His hand was still bandaged, a grim reminder of a previous arguement. But there was no pain when he touched her. He allowed her this sweet, tender moment before breaking the silence with one last kiss on the cheek. "I know I'm not the best person to talk to about these kinds of things", J'rad added with a slight frown. "But I would still like to know what's troubling you", he continued, but there was still more. He was still struggling to say something. "I'd try to help. Even if it's not my strongest point", he finally spoke. Well, it'd certainly taken him long enough to spit this one out. Before, he'd just let her change subjects and so on. But J'rad was realizing his cold ways didn't work well in his favor with Althesia, and for good reason. He'd have to learn to be a little sweeter, a little nicer. Atleast when it came to her. J'rad caressed the side of one of her arms as they lay there.

[anhydrous]

Althesia accepted the kiss without a thought, tasting what he had been doing that night with the slightest tinge of jealousy. Instead of holding such a thing against him the woman allowed herself to be comforted, restless thoughts stilled for the briefest of moments.

J’rad had grown more considerate since their last altercation; something that Althesia realized again as he broke the still quiet with tender words instead of agitated ones. That was definitely a change for the better. Usually an arched eyebrow would accompany the explorations of her moods, but tonight he seemed genuinely concerned.

Listening as he fought past words for her, Althesia decided it would be best to finally face her own verbal struggle. “You deserve to know,” she said finally, resting her head against his chest so that he couldn’t see her face. It was easier that way, darkness clinging to the pair of them while they faced the trials of normal conversation.

The silence that followed was thick with tension, Althesia’s restlessness only further attributing to it. To say it aloud would mean that she would have to deal with the consequences that followed. So far there was the beautiful swath of denial to find solace in, but should she admit her plight, it would be gone forever.

“I think I’m pregnant,” she admitted at length, hands balling into fists as she inwardly came to terms with what exactly that implied.

[dragon]

J'rad allowed a brief moment. Would she tell him this time, or throw her removed shirt in his face again? Her first words brought the answer to his mind. She was obviously wanting to tell him. Now would she? There was something about that silence, about that tone. This was something deep, obviously. J'rad had to ponder if she slept with another, yet again. He'd wanted to believe she'd be above such things only for his sake. It was ashame he couldn't say the same. One day Arcaith might catch a gold or a female greenrider, and J'rad would be forced into dragonlust to commit something against his will. Inwardly, J'rad loathed the day that would happen. His thoughts were for Althesia alone. No other woman found the place he'd given her.

But when she spoke, clarifying what the issue was, J'rad paused and there was an eerie silence throughout his dark weyr. Everything seemed to freeze, even his heartbeat. Pregnant? But with who? Was it his? Was it someone else's? J'fel's? J'rad wanted to snarl and scoff at the thought of it being J'fel's. But, there was no way to secure that it was. So J'rad didn't, nor did he show that he thought such things.

Finally, everything seemed to return to normal and he could feel the body heat of not only himself but his lover beside him. "I think", J'rad started with thoughtful words, "you would make a good mother. Despite appearances". Just what had J'rad meant by that last part? He didn't mean her physical appearance, his tone made that obvious. He meant the same appearance he gave off. Despite Althesia's supposed attitude and way of life, J'rad knew another side of her. She was a jealous, possessive thing. But she was also very caring and affectionate, a side she wouldn't show often. J'rad's hand moved from her arm to her hair and stroked it as he allowed her to rest her head on his bare chest. He kissed the top of her head, letting her know he was not angry or upset over the situation. She seemed to be so upset to the point of hesitation to tell him. No need to torture her or upset her further. Considerate. Yes, J'rad was actually being very considerate. Perhaps his mood lightened by drink or by a night out with the guys. Perhaps it was just J'rad truely trying to change. But whatever the case may be, he was being a sort of kind that was unnatural for one so gruff as him.

[anhydrous]

Althesia could have sworn that she felt J’rad’s chest tightening beneath her splayed fingertips, and she winced against the quiet that met her words. He was going to throw her out. He wouldn’t be able to stand the possibility that it was not his. The fear of those thoughts nearly downed out the bronzerider’s true response, the tender kiss he left on her head serving to shock her back into reality.

Relief flooded into every fiber of her being as realization dawned and she clutched at her bronzer with a newfound sense of desire. He had taken something that could have torn them apart and turned it inside out. Would he truly claim her as his? There was only one real way to know. “And you will make a good father?” She asked hopefully, eyes wide and encouraged. It didn’t matter whose it was. No one could argue it if she said that J’rad was the rightful sire. They might laugh, but it couldn’t really be disputed.

Somewhere deep in her subconscious more important things were swirling. Thoughts of the weyrleader and her master back at the healer hall begged for attention, but Althesia held them off for now. J’rad’s acceptance was taking center stage, the emotions and hormones raging within her chest. She did not hold the notion that they could bar themselves in his room and keep the world at bay, but any misfortune that this child could bring might be tolerated if only they were united in it.

Was J’rad ready to accept the responsibility? Althesia certainly wasn’t, but the very spilt that separated her ridiculously contradictory nature would allow her to deal with the burden. She could ignore reality; ignore the gossip and threats from her profession, bearing the brunt of a thousand hardships all the while continuing to exist with the same apathy and indifference in the belly of Telgar. The question was, would J’rad stand with her?

[dragon]

J'rad looked at her confused. Tradition being the child would likely be raised as a weyrbrat, J'rad thought this course. "Truth be told", he stated to her, objectivity but perhaps not total objectivity. "I'd expect it to be raised as a weyrbrat here in the weyr. What you're suggesting isn't very typical", J'rad explained to her. "However. I'd like to think I'd make a decent parent, despite appearances", J'rad spoke up. He'd not really rejected or accepted the offer of raising a child here. But it was certainly something they could discuss, J'rad left the groundwork for that to happen and he didn't chase her away from it. He was certainly being more open minded than he use to be.

[anhydrous]

“That’s not what I meant,” she replied, somewhat crestfallen. Of course she knew that a child raised in the weyr would not receive the same sort of upbringing that she had been privy to. Dragonriders did not rear children. J’rad was no exception, his analytical approach signaling this more than anything.

Patiently, but not without a note of regret, Althesia explained herself. “If I have this child, I’m giving up my place at the Hall. I would be bound to this weyr just like every other woman of the lower caverns.” Briefly she let that image simmer in her mind, drawing away from J’rad slightly as she wrinkled her nose at the possibility. “I want to know if it is worth it,” she said quietly, alluding to more than her distaste at such a future. Althesia would not give anyone the satisfaction of seeing her subjected to drudgery.

[dragon]

J'rad raised an eyebrow curiously. What exactly was she asking then? Was this a question of commitment? Wasn't there already some form of that? Or was she asking for a higher level of it? J'rad spoke up. "What is it exactly that you are trying to ask me?", he asked, then attempted to answer his own question. "I've already shown you some commtiment. I've already admitted loving you. I've admitted that I want no other woman. I do not desire to leave your side", he explained himself. He paused, held her hand, then added, "If this could last, then it would be please me. Honestly? I've grown accustom to sharing my bed with you, to holding you. I don't know what more you could want from me". J'rad was truely at a loss should it be anything beyond this. What else could he give her that would convince her it was worth it? He'd given himself to her and would now accept no other in her place.

[anhydrous]

Althesia sighed again as she untangled herself from J’rad’s grasp, sliding under his furs and laying back with her eyes trained on the darkness of the ceiling. Secretly she enjoyed hearing him says such things, but he was misunderstanding. “It isn’t that either,” she said wearily, encouraging him to lay back down beside her with the flutter of her hand against his pillow.

She didn't really know how to ask what she wanted to ask, which was quite clear by the uncertainty marking her words. “You know, that other option…" It was certainly a subject to be broached, although not one that Althesia took to with the greatest enthusiasm. "Just a short ride between?” She stammered uncomfortably.

Almost immediately Althesia realized that she wouldn’t be able to do that. It wouldn't sit right. Her eyes blinked against the coldness of the air, her breathing growing more deep and even as she thought. “But then again, J’fel has promised me a few turns here,” she sighed to the darkness, “I could have the child and return to the Hall with them none-the-wiser.” After a moment she curled on one side, hands brought up under her chin awkwardly. She felt a stranger in her own skin.

[dragon]

J'rad's stern, gruff look was ever evident as he looked at Althesia when she gave that option. He looked almost stone in nature. Cold, smooth, solid, hard stone. It was obvious he was dead set against the idea. "That isn't an option", he said, speaking in absolute. There was but one option. Have the child.

J'rad obliged after his response and laid down next to Althesia. One hand found her cheek and he placed it there tenderly. Despite his look, despite all his show, J'rad had an obvious soft spot for Althesia that had developed over time and was continuing to develop. It was just that now it was making itself obvious. "This child can be raised in the weyr. Who knows? Maybe one day the child will stand and become a dragonrider", J'rad spoke, some bit of hope in his words. J'rad may not have liked people as a whole, but he did care for life and he certainly didn't want to see one snuffed out. He certainly felt the younger generations had expectations they could exceed. The future was always with the younger generation. They would be the dragonriders, the workers, the leaders of tomorrow. With them there was hope of a brighter tomorrow.

"This weyr is yours to live in as well", J'rad propositioned. It made sense. This was always the place she'd come to rest her head, this was the place where she stayed. She practically lived here already without J'rad suggesting anything. So why not make it formal? Atleast let her know how he felt in some sense, or to speak on the matter himself rather than just the both of them assume. But the tone was obvious. As long as Althesia wanted to stay at Telgar, as long as she wanted to be with him then she could live with him.

[anhydrous]

Usually such an order would be rebuked with a glare and a curse, but for once Althesia was glad to be steered away from the wanderings of her mind. It was a dark place, and she preferred to ignore it for the moment. Wordlessly she sought his arms, taking his tender touch as an invitation to chase away her fear.

Worrying wasn’t a natural course of action for the sharp-tongued harper, but concerns pestered even the most indifferent from time to time.

Lying quietly, Althesia listened to her bronzer's musings and offers with a wordless smile. He spoke of the future with tentative hope, as if she would walk out the door at any moment. What he didn’t seem to realize was that she couldn’t, not even if she wanted to. “The Hall will miss me, you know,” she said softly, a curl of hair brushing against J'rad's cheek as she touched her lips to his.

[dragon]

"I would miss you even more", he spoke quietly, but that hardened voice was still there. J'rad's voice was one of strength, of power. Soft and tender was rarely found in his words. But it was found in his touch, in his actions. J'rad was definently a man of action. He certainly wasn't one for words. They were always spoken when needed, and never held back his intentions. He was straightforward, blunt, and sharp tongued as well.

J'rad found that her kiss was desirable. Desirable meaning he'd waited for it for quite some time. It was quite the feeling to end a hard day in bed with his lover, lips pressed against one another. He'd found Althesia as much a comfort as she found him. She may have sought him for his steady endurance, but he sought her for the tenderness and care that only she could give. The wild animal was becoming tame, the lone wolf found his mate. J'rad instinctively wrapped his arms around Althesia to draw her closer and rest his lips on her forehead, while he gently brushed her hair with his fingers, playing with it. There was no need to repeat what he had said awhile back. It was evident in his actions and if J'rad had felt otherwise about Althesia, he'd have certainly let her know. Indeed his thoughts and feelings were in his actions.

[anhydrous]

Althesia didn’t doubt it.

With each stroke of his hands through her hair, tension that had amassed from the past month was brushed away. He worked past the tangles expertly, straightening Althesia’s mass of waves into something more presentable than she would ever bother to manage. The trace of his touch across her scalp sent shivers down her spine, eyelids growing heavy with the delicate pleasure of attention.

The sheer comfort her bronzer provided kept her on the edge of consciousness; his strong arms coaxing her towards sleep while the twist of his fingers caught at her lucidity. From that half-aware state a string of thoughts crossed her mind, only one receiving words to back it. “You will laugh at me when I get fat,” she mused sleepily, her voice half-lost against her bronzer’s neck.

Between them rested the invisible swell of the woman’s stomach, the smooth paleness hiding their secret. For now, anyway.