Between Sisters (Genet)

[Alsivor]

(About a seven after the time travelers' return)

Aleda had tidied away most of her supplies and cleared the table that stood in the middle of her wagon. It was laid now with a brightly patterened cloth, a set of earthenware dishes and a precious pair of heavy glass goblets.

Then she laid out the simple meal: flatbread in a basket, the little dish of finely spiced wherry, small portions of vegetables also spiced to relative levels of mildness. In the middle of the table, the carafe of creamed tea, still hot from the pot.

Then she went to the door and propped it open to await her guest. Genet had requested a talk between the two of them and Aleda was quite amenable, it had simply been difficult to get the time, between the weyrling's schedule of lessons and duties and her own renewed duties to her patients. Her return home had been, by and large, welcomed with open arms. By many many more arms than Aleda remembered in fact. The camp in the Bowl was larger than when she had left, far more Caminar in attendance and her own family had mysteriously grown by three siblings, two uncles and some cousins she was still hazy on.

With the door propped she looked out at the clear, late autumn day at the snow gleaming on the heights and breathed in the chilly air swirling through the Bowl, then sat down to wait for her guest on the top step of her wagon, blue skirts demurely tucked in around her ankles.

[Invisible]

After chores Genet had raced to the baths to wash dust, dirt, grime, sweat and anything else off her. She’d changed into one of her old dresses, clean and worn as always, and hurried to the Caminar wagons. She knew the way to Aleda’s wagon in particular although it was rare for her to go so openly there. When her and Silvio had gone she’d been sneaking about at night. If they’d gone? The longer she was with Anquilith the less the other time seemed real unless she was with Silvio. It was troubling to no end. Head down she tried not to draw too much attention to herself not wanting trouble.

Catching sight of Aleda when she looked up to be sure she was not about to run into someone she smiled brightly and picked up her feet to move faster. “Hi!” she greeted the other woman merrily. “Thank you so much for making time for me!” There was a little pause before she lowered her voice to say, “Instead of my brother,” in a teasing tone.

[Alsivor]

Aleda sat and waited and watched. Her sister was tuning her gitar down by the fire and humming to herself. If the sabedoria didn't know better, she'd think Verena would make a fine harper. She also watched Selina and Saria chasing each other around and around between chores. They were so little. Little children. And she knew them not at all. This perhaps more than anything else gave her a pang. Her youngest sisters, complete strangers to her. In her old life, they had never been born. Kalpeth's tail had brought them into being and often she was at a loss for how to feel about that. They were sweet little girls. Saria reminded her of herself, demanding, outspoken, merry. She sighed softly then perked up as Genet came into view.

Aleda waved as she caught sight of G'tet's sister, her brother's ... not lover yet, but she was sure soon-would-be. The sabedoria rose from her seat on the steps and held a hand out to Genet, smile warm. "Come in, please, Genet. My home is your home and I am honored to welcome you." Traditional words of hospitality fell from her lips, her habits slipping back easily into the well-worn groove of Caminar custom in this much at least.

[Invisible]

The family gathering was alien to Genet. Not because it was Caminar, but because it was a family that seemed to get along. Her own family had been nothing but strife except for her relationship with G’tet. He was the only one she could rely on. The only one who had not hurt her growing up. “Thank you very much,” she said politely with a smile as she took the hand offered to her. And then she said nothing else until they were inside.

Once inside though she didn’t even look around like she was new to the wagon. “Umm.” The meal was noticed, of course, and she sniffed the air. So whatever that umm was going to be the start of vanished as she sniffed again. “Oh, that smells wonderful!”

[Alsivor]

Aleda squeezed Genet's hand gently as the other woman climbed the steps to join her. She gave her mother a little wave as Carolina came out of the wagon with a basket of mending. The older Caminar woman blinked at Genet in surprise, but made no remark. Aleda had had plantado clients before. They usually paid good marks, so she wouldn't complain.

The sabedoria turned to follow Genet into the wagon and shut the door behind her. "Just a little lunch," she said amiably, "please sit and help yourself, be comfortable and we can talk." She moved around to a chair herself, stood waiting for Genet to sit first politely.

[Invisible]

Genet sat at the table without having to be told twice. Food! Food was always a good thing especially when it was something new. “This looks wonderful. Wow. Thank you so much, Aleda!” She could for awhile forget the things she wanted to talk about and take in the meal that was prepared for her. It was so incredible! But, because it’s how she is she just asks before even getting to taste anything, “So, was anything missing when you got back? Like, umm, you know. Herbs and stuff?” Because if it was a dream then nothing was missing right? And her body had been lying to her every time she looked at Silvio.

[Alsivor]

"You're welcome," Aleda said with a warm smile and settled down into her chair, held the basket of bread out to her guest. The question lifted her brows a little and she looked over at her drawers of supplies. "There were some things missing yes, but I have been gone for some time. I would not be surprised if my family came to take things," she said lightly and looked back at the other young woman. "Why?"

[Invisible]

Even though she asked a question Genet still took bread for herself. Who passes up food after all? Not this girl! If anything weyrlinghood had increased her appetite. Hopefully it would even out because she didn’t have a lot of spare pounds before reaching fat. At first she felt relieved that it might just be family, but then she felt guilty for feeling relieved and Aleda got a front row seat to it all since Genet was unable to hide much of how she felt. “It’s just- I mean. I-.”

Unable to decide how to start she took a bite of the bread. Chewing and swallowing gave her time to settle down and start again. “I know things changed. Anquilith was not mine the day you left. I remember that, but I remember her too. And- And in the time that didn’t give me her your brother and I- you know.” Her skin was not nearly dark enough to hide the blush creeping over her cheeks. “But now we haven’t. And I haven’t told him. Please don’t tell him, Aleda. Please.”

[Alsivor]

Aleda waited until Genet had helped herself, then took a piece of the bread herself, broke it in half and reached over to ladle contents from each of the dishes into its center, quietly demonstrating how the meal was meant to be eaten without making a fuss over it. Her dark eyes lifted to Genet's face as the other young woman stuttered to a halt and she cocked her head to the side slightly, waited until Genet continued to speak.

What she said only brought out a smile on the sabedoria's face. "I wish I could tell you that I remember you both being together," she said gently. "But we left the day of the Hatching and up until that day Silvio was only doing what he ought: taking his turn on duty and doing as our father said. If he was also occasionally charming the pants off of a lower caverns girl, these are not things that I would /really/ know about or mention aloud to my parents" she said quite bluntly and took a deep breath, set the spoon back down in the dish she'd just helped herself from, folded up her flatbread deliberately around the contents and then left the resulting bundle in the center of her plate.

Her elbows propped on the edge of the table and her fingers laced together, chin finding a home atop the basket thusly formed and she regarded Genet without speaking for a moment. "You had sex. Here," Aleda said bluntly and looked around her wagon. "And perhaps elsewhere as well," humor there and then she looked back over at Genet. "The day I came back, Silvio had been sleeping here and my bed was a mess, almost as if he had been entertaining," she said thoughtfully. "But I can't pretend to understand how these shifts in time work." Her head tilted again and she looked over at Genet sympathetically. "And I thought it was horrible that I don't remember -- no, do not /know/, the man who apparently loves me, or my youngest siblings, not to mention the uncles and aunts and cousins who have mysteriously appeared in my family tree," the sabedoria said softly. "Somehow though, this seems moreso. To have been one thing to each other in /full/ an have it taken away." She sighed softly and looked down at her plate, laughed wryly. "I almost wish we had not gone, that we had not changed things." There was a little edge of ache in her voice. "And yet, clearly we saved people, for there /more/," she waved vaguely outward, outside of the wagon.

Aleda fell silent for a moment or two, reached for the pitcher of tea and filled up both goblets with it. "I will not tell him, Genet, if that is what you choose. It is very obvious to me that even with time changed, his feelings for you have not done so." Her eyes lifted to Genet's face, measuring the other young woman. "I suppose the question is really, how you feel and whether or not you will choose each other again. Just as I need to figure out if I will make the choices I thought I was going to make before we left, or make new ones, or follow the path that this other self was going to follow, one that is still unclear to me."

She took another breath and dropped her hands to pick up her food. "And if you need my herbs to be with Silvio, I will happily mix up the right brews for you. They're usually very effective. They have only failed me once and I was much younger than and did not understand the mixtures so well."

[Invisible]

Everything else could be commented on after those words that promised Silvio would not know. “Thank you,” she said as she finally saw to filling her plate. “I just- It’s not-Well, it’s not just who I am now. And it seems rather cruel to tell him who I used to be. Better he only remember me now.” At least better for her. An embarrassed grin then in belated response to where they might have been intimate. “Just here once. After the fight. Mostly at the end we were using G’tet’s weyr as it was unused and I had been sleeping there anyway. But really- Well, you don’t want to hear.” That they’d been sneaking around anywhere they wouldn’t get caught like bunnies in heat.

“I would appreciate the herbs,” Genet said with a sunny, almost shy smile. “We had a close call and then he brought me this gross stuff to make tea out of, but it was fine after that. I’m in no place to have a kid.” She had no desire to have a kid, but wasn’t sure she should mention that at all. “And I can pay you for it! Or G’tet can if I can’t. He owes me after all.” Before saying anything else she took a drink of her tea and considered her food. Before trying it however she hesitated to say, “I am not who I was before I think. Even then I was not sure if I loved your brother. Now? I care for him and like being with him and desire him, but- But I am afraid for him.”

It was easier by far to say these things to her than to try to spell them out to Silvio. “I don’t want him to pass up happiness to be with me when I am not sure I will make him happy forever. Do you understand? I know how he feels about staying in one place. Before Anquilith he said he would stay but I talked him out of it. Or helped him talk himself out of it anyway.” There was really no easy way to say the next part so Genet just pressed on. “I think he’s a great guy and I want to spend as much time with him as I can, but he deserves someone who will put him first in a relationship and I can’t do that. I don’t even know if I could have without Anquilith. You know him better than I, Aleda. If I should break things off now please tell me. I don’t want to hurt your brother. He was such a comfort to me while G’tet was away and he took me dancing.” The significance of which would be lost on Aleda, sure, but it was important to Genet.

[Alsivor]

"Would it be cruel? I can understand a way in which it could be comforting, perhaps," Aleda said slowly, thoughtfully and took a bite of her food. She considered a little longer then took a breath and went on. "Silvio has always been a charmer, easy on the eyes, easy off with his pants," said his elder sister, mouth quirking lightly to the side. "It's something we have in common, he and I. Though he has never fought the idea of an arranged marriage the way I have." Beat. "At least, not until now."

Her hand curled around her goblet, brought it to her lips to sip the still-warm tea within. She had to laugh though at the litany of places. "There is almost something funny about the fact that both my bed and G'tet's were put to such use by the two of you, before things changed, and now it is G'tet and I," Aleda said candidly and propped her chin in her hand again. "You feel much the same about my brother as I do about yours, though I have no illusions about what he expects of me, or any I might place upon him. We enjoy each other's company." She paused, sipped more tea and sought to meet Genet's eyes with her own. "I think that perhaps it could be the same for you and Silvio." She ate a little more and dabbed a bit of sauce from her lips with her napkin. "I don't think breaking off will make either of you happy. But be honest with him about how you feel, so he can make his own choices with a good understanding of things between you." Aleda's humor twinkled in her eyes and bubbled forth with her next words: "Besides, dancing is always a good thing and Silvio is a very good dancer so you should definitely at least enjoy that much together!"

[Invisible]

“I think it would be cruel,” Genet says with a thoughtful tone. “A part of me wishes I didn’t remember it, but I do remember it and I don’t mind so much.” There was a pause so she might take a bite of the food before her. “It’s just frustrating,” she says before chewing and swallowing. “Every time he touches me it makes me crazy. Oh! This is really good. I like it a lot!” One could never go wrong offering Genet food.

Genet felt a twinge of jealousy that G’tet still got to do such things while she could not. Even if technically she supposed she’d never done them in the first place. More’s the pity because she remembered it being a whole lot of fun and even when she could again, if Silvio was around, there’d be no staying out all night together. “I am glad you and G’tet get along. He’s a great guy and you have it easy being a woman since he won’t want to settle down anyway with you.” Yet another thing that was so unfair over it all. “Have you danced with him yet? He’s nowhere near as good as I am, but G’tet’s not bad. Like Silvio who is not as good as me either.”

“I won’t continue anything if he gets married. Not unless he’s honest with that girl.” She would forever be that girl. Unless she turned into that wife. The tone would remain the same however. Genet could be scolded all people wanted about the unfairness of her feelings, but it would change nothing. “I just don’t want to hurt him, Aleda. Please, if I make a great mess of things please promise me you’ll try to make him see that?”

[Alsivor]

"If it doesn't work out, Genet, he might like to know that at one time, you did love him," Aleda answered with another smile for the other woman. Her head ducked though as she chuckled at that forthright statement from the weyrling. "Crazy hmm? Well, here's hoping he gets to make you sane again sooner rather than later," the sabedoria quipped with a broad wink. "I understand that feeling and happily I tend not to hold back from satisfying it," she said boldly. Thank Faranth for closed doors. Her humor applied to Genet's exclamation about the food too and Aleda couldn't help but be charmed by the weyrling's effusiveness. Though she and her brother were different, they shared that sort of look before you leap quality.

Eating again, Aleda finished her portion and drew her tea close, took a few swallows before that tone in Genet's voice brought her gaze back up to the weyrling. "Avera. I have heard." She's quiet for a moment, looking out the wagon's window thoughtfully. "The expectation for married couples amongst the Caminar is for fidelity," she continued after a moment and sighed softly. "He is supposed to have already cast his wild oats before marriage." The sabedoria's glass touched down on the table and she laced her fingers again loosely. "It's a part of why I've no wish to marry, myself. That... and I feel that I am more than just what I could be as a wife and mother. I don't want to be blocked in that way." She took a deep breath, let it out. "Avera is too young perhaps, to have thought of those things. She's a good girl, who does as she's told. Silvio is charming and I'm sure she'll be easily charmed, but being charmed is not the same as loving, or really making a knowing choice about the direction of your life." She paused again thoughtfully then went on. "I would like to think that he would be honest, and that perhaps he would be honest about not being able to marry her when his heart is engaged elsewhere." Aleda looked down at her empty plate, a little troubled. "Genet, if he is hurt, by you or anyone else, of course I will be there for him. But I think you're not really giving him enough credit too. If he really loves you, I think he will understand."

[Invisible]

“Men,” Genet said with the air of someone three times her turns, “Have no idea how to handle their hearts. “ Wherever she got that idea it was one she clearly had taken to, well, heart. “It’s just a mess,” she finally says of the whole thing before seeing to her own meal. It gives her time to think rather than talk because she feels like thinking is clearly required right now.

“It doesn’t seem right,” she finally says. “I mean, if I loved him I should still love him. It doesn’t make sense any other way. None of it makes sense.” She looks up and smiles brightly at Aleda. “But I have Anquilith so it’s all worth it. Everything else will sort itself out.” Poor Silvio would be one of those things to be sorted out later.

And as to marriage she snorted and pointed out, “My parents had been trying to marry me for turns and I always got out of it. Maybe I wouldn’t have if one my intended husband’s had looked like Silvio, but still. If he were going to get out of the engagement he should have done so by now. Now it will just look poorly for that girl.” Avera, right. See how Genet uses that name. “I don’t know. If it were me I would have called it off by now. If I’d even let it get that far. Still, I can’t expect everyone to be as amazing as I am!” Yes, she teases. Well, mostly. Almost entirely. Really. A sigh escapes pursed lips as she slouches in her seat. “I don’t want to be in this mess. It was supposed to just be fun.”

[Alsivor]

Amused, Aleda just tipped her goblet up and finished her tea, set it down and shrugged. "In my experience, it's more that they're more easily led by their instincts than their heads," the sabedoria countered with a quiet chuckle. The rest of what Genet said rendered her thoughtful again and she traced out a little line on the table, looked up again.

"As have mine, but Silvio ... is a more dutiful son than I am a daughter and if he had no expectations of you, then he had no reason not to follow as he should, as our family might expect," she says lightly.

"Still. Genet, I think that being honest and open with your thoughts and feelings with /him/ is the best way to go. Don't hide to shield him. I think you will hurt him much more by not saying what is real or the truth than by masking it with what you think he might want to hear. If you just want a little fun, tell him so. I think that's something that my brother could live with."