Confidence and Complaint

[anhydrous]

Althesia lounged in one of the two comfortable chairs that J’rad’s weyr had to offer, her back seeming to ache no matter the position that was attempted. This was a relatively new development in a growing list of aggravations, spawned from long hours in front of a canvas and the steady swelling of her stomach. It was getting to the point where she wouldn’t be able to hide her pregnancy much longer. What a pain in the ass.

The Harper had taken to wearing long wherhide pants instead of skirts, borrowing J’rad’s shirts in an effort to disguise the growing bump. The clasps of the pants seemed to rein it in a bit, allowing the looser shirts to do their duty of camouflage well enough. Soon, though, it would be futile.

That was probably for the best. She was growing tired of caring. As soon as everyone knew, she wouldn’t need to worry about them finding out.

The first step would be admitting it to someone other than J’rad. She glared at the protrusion for her slumped position, legs dangling over one plush arm of the chair with her head and neck supported with the other. Tonight was the night, she supposed. Her bronzer was out with his wing, and Salina was on her way up for a visit. They had been spending their free time together lately, usually around dusk when both were free and J’rad’s weyr was empty.

The goldling had proven herself a worthy friend quite a few times over, and Althesia figured it was about time that she actually show that she thought to. It seemed so long ago that they had butted heads in the lower caverns, an exchange of gossip leading to so much more.

Besides, Salina had to have noticed. She hadn’t said anything, but hell. What other conclusions could a person come to when a heavy drinker sudden put down the bottle and refused to show off the figure she flaunted so recklessly before?

With these thoughts mingling in her head, Althesia prodded at her stomach and grabbed for her glass. Wine had been exchanged for juice, although it hardly deserved merit as a substitute. She frowned bitterly into the cup as she drank, the heat from the hearth making the scene as warmly inviting as possible while the Harper waited for the arrival of her friend.

[Xinnai]

"You know, you don't want to frown like that. Your face could stick that way," was the cheerful and breezy greeting from Telgar's junior weyrwoman. Salina lounged indolently by the doorway, one hip propped against it, arms crossed over her chest. The only indication of her humor on her solemn face was the slight curving of lips.

She stepped forward, relieving Althesia of her glass to take a sip of the juice before handing it back. It was a careless move, and warm. The two were very much that way now. Salina sank into the free armchair, still appearing neat and graceful as she slumped into it, letting legs dangle. They just touched the floor.

"Hullo, Al, sweetie, how are you?" Salina offered her friend a smile. It was nice to be able to hang out with Althesia when they could. The goldrider wasn't used to having many girlfriends now. It was just the boys. And Genet and Anayeli, not that she got along with the greenriders much. Genet was too much of a rambunctious sort and Ana too vain. Sadly.

Salina was glad for the invitation then and the slightest bit intrigued. When Althesia had asked her to visit a few days before, she'd been much more tense than usual. And still in the ridiculous garb she'd taken to. Salina had been wary of the harper's other, much more revealing outfits, but they screamed Althesia. This...did not. Was it just another one of the games that Althesia liked to play? Salina couldn't be sure. So, perhaps this little r&r session could tell her that.

[anhydrous]

The Harper’s frown faded immediately after being called out, lips twitching into a smile as Salina waltzed into the room and took a sip of her drink. “Long day at the office?” She asked instead of offering the weyrling her own glass, glancing out towards the ledge where night was very quickly falling.

It had taken Salina a bit longer than usual to get up to the weyr, and Althesia expected the weyrlingmaster was to blame. She had heard enough about H’gar’s new regiment to share in the hatred of it.

Accepting the juice when it was returned to her, Althesia set the cup on her stomach and watched as Salina settled into her chair. How was she? What a perfect opportunity. With the indifference that could lay a man to his grave, Althesia rested her head on the arm of her chair and studied the ceiling. “Pregnant,” she responded laconically.

Worries were always quick to come and go, and were mysteriously absent as Althesia frankly broke her news. Shifting her gaze to take in Salina’s reaction, she shrugged slightly and grimaced. “Have I been hiding it well?” She asked innocently, and after a moment adding, “Be honest!”

[Xinnai]

Salina grimaced, plucking at a loose string at her shirt. Long day at the office? That was putting it lightly. H'gar had made the weyrlings run laps for almost an hour. Again. Would Z'dayi and Ez'ki ever learn to not smart off to the new weyrlingmaster? Probably not. Repition didn't seem to wear him down either.

Althesia knew all about that, however. When Salina had had a particularly brutal day, she'd usually turn to Althesia because she was an outside observer who could truly groan at the horror of it. When it was just weyrlings, you drowned in misery. With Althesia, they had a bitch session and grew happier.

It just worked like that.

Then the catalyst hit. Her mouth actually dropped open in shock. Salina mind just went blank. There was nothing there. Just a faint buzzing, gray sort of numbness that escalated, rising in volume. She blinked once and then twice.

"Wha-what? Yes, yes, of course. That's why you've been wearing those ridiculous clothes." She waved a limp hand towards the other woman, staring at her still in shock. "Al...Yes, I'm being honest. Of course you're hiding it well. You hid it from me."

She was by the harper, kneeling by her, looking at her indolent lounge and knowing she didn't feel that way. Al was much better at hiding feelings than Salina. "How far along are you? How does J'rad feel?"

Oh Faranth. It was J'rad's, right? They both knew who else could have fathered the babe, but it had to be J'rad. There was just no possible way that Althesia's bronzer could not be the father. There was no way that another child could claim J'fel as father.

[anhydrous]

Althesia had already known how Salina was going to respond, but found the fluttering to be less annoying than she had thought it was going to be. It was almost comforting, really, to know that someone cared. Of course J’rad was supportive, but in a different way entirely. He didn’t want to talk about it.

Laughing and biting at her lip, Althesia pulled up her shirt and let Salina see for herself. The whiteness of her stomach was visibly protruding, firm to the touch as she laid her fingers across her belly. “I didn’t want everyone to know yet, thank you very much,” She said in her own defense, having hoped to use her own apathy to pass the new clothes. Apparently she had failed.

Although the questions were fired rapidly, the Harper latched onto the first one and wrinkled her eyebrow in thought. “Let’s see,” she paused, counting in her head, “Four months, maybe? I don’t really know.” She met Salina’s shocked and concerned stare with a half-smile, shrugging helplessly. “I’ve had a while to brood on it,” She admitted with a sigh.

Most would be tripping all over themselves with anxieties and confusions, but Althesia just couldn’t do it. She cared, yes, mostly afraid of the eventual pain, but for now that was still a ways off. More pressing was the realization that she couldn’t hide it much longer.

The glint of amusement in her eyes dimmed somewhat, a sigh forced past her lips. “J’rad is accepting,” She said with a frown, “But..” She hardly needed to say it out loud, Salina already knew. This was her one real worry, the one that no amount of indifference could mask. “I just don’t know,” she admitted cryptically. She had no idea who the father was. There was no way to tell, not until it popped out either scowling or flirting.

[Xinnai]

Salina touched lightly at Althesia's stomach, fingers slightly cold from the winter's chill, even with the fire. A look of wonder touched at her face. Another human being was there. A little baby.

The goldrider plopped to her butt on the ground, her shock wearing off. Instead, those innate maternal--slight cringe there--instincts she had were rising to take her over. She nodded in reference to Althesia.

"Mmm. It would be hard to tell. Have you been to the healer yet?" She'd need to be monitored, if even lightly. There were many pregnant women within Telgar after all. The healers always wanted to be sure no complications arose. "If it's four...That'd put you at conceiving about late summer. Were you with J'rad then?" she asked crisply, shock gone now.

They weren't going to talk about the other possibility, not by name. Althesia could easily be another month along and they'd never know. Babies were just so finicky in arriving on time. If it was just nine months exact, they'd know. But of course not.

Salina slid onto the arm chair by the woman's feet, taking one and rubbing at it absently, soothingly. They had to be killing her. Yup, she could see it. Swollen. Poor girl. "How's J'rad taking it?"

[anhydrous]

Althesia actually laughed out loud when Salina grabbed hold of her foot, expertly rolling it between her hands. She wiggled her toes indignantly. “Save your pity,” she said between laughs, “I’m sure in the next few months I’ll appreciate it more.” Hah. In a few months she’d be as big as a sharding dragon. Then Salina would be welcome to rub her feet as much as she pleased.

Crossing her legs at the ankle after extricating her toes from her friend’s grasp, Althesia rolled her shirt back into place. “I haven’t been to the healer yet.” She responded in turn, fingers tracing idly across her belly. “So far, I’ve only told you and J’rad, although, I’m about to give up and let the gossip fly.” She shrugged, “It is hardly worth it to keep hiding behind J’rad’s shirts.”

In retrospect, Althesia had been lucky. She was definitely showing, but it was not as bad as it could have been. It was still manageable, only obvious if she stood up straight and wore shirts that didn’t pool about her middle.

Although, while at first she had been able to forget about her pregnancy, as time wore on it was becoming harder and harder not to take notice. Walking up stairs left her tired, and she rarely ate anything without it making a second appearance a few minuets later. She might not have been showing much, but she felt like crap every morning. Her bronzer could definitely attest to that.

“Late summer,” She mused with a blink, her thoughts wandering towards the past in a meandering-sort of way. “Yes, I was with him then.” Really the odds of her babe being J’fel’s were extremely thin, but one couldn’t help but call it into question. She would have preferred not to think of it at all. The weyrleader was not her bronzer. He couldn’t provide her with what she needed.

Stoic J’rad had taken this news delightfully well. Althesia was proud that he had handled it like he did, and didn’t hesitate to say so. “He’s been a sport. A grumpy sport,” Here she shrugged, “But a sport none the less. I really worried that he wouldn’t take the little one as his own, but I think my word is law on the issue.” She raised both eyebrows as she took a sip of juice, a smile curving her lips. “I mean, if I say it’s his, who can really tell me it isn’t?”

[Xinnai]

Salina leaned back, using some of the chair for support. Mmm, Althesia was being careful about this and who blamed her? Most of the weyr knew that the journeywomen harper now shared J'rad's quarters, but there were always those who remembered gossip from months gone and would certainly recall when rumors of the harper and weyrleader had flown.

A twist of her lips was the only indication of this train of thought as Salina nodded, a punctuation to her friend's words. "I don't blame you at all. It's got to be a pain in the neck to try and cover this up. I don't envy you at all for it."

The queenrider came to the same calculations as Althesia did. After all, she'd thought of the other woman as a sort of rival before. How hilarious the concept was now. Salina had come to terms about the man's dabbling; if he wanted to, so be it. She wasn't going to stop him. She wasn't pining after him like some lovesick fool. Yes, she'd welcome any...meetings they had, but it didn't stop her from pursuing other ends. Salina hid the secretive smile behind a raised hand, nodding once more.

"Uh-huh." Her lips curved into a mirror of the harper's now and she let fingers drop. "No one can. That's why it's so delightfully perfect. If it's J'rad's, it's J'rad's. No one can contest that, Al. Especially if the kid has some glower on its face." She imitated Althesia's bronzerider then, brows pulling down and lips jutting into an angry line. She laughed then, touching lightly at the woman's knee.