The Star Lit Conversation(Althesia)

[dragon]

J'rad entered his weyr with his smallest finger still intertwined around Althesia's. The two had decided to leave the populated lake and head back to his weyr. That was just fine for J'rad. Althesia may have thought she'd be getting something else, but for J'rad this was so he could discuss with her what she had bugged him about earlier.

He quietly closed the door behind them and walked closer to the ledge, so the could see the sky. When he thought he was close enough, he spoke up. "I believe there was some things you wanted to talk about", J'rad spoke up, eyes meeting Althesia's. It seemed comforting to see her, just to know she was around. It was an odd feeling, one that J'rad really couldn't place. But he simply shrugged it off as usual.

For now, their conversation would likely lead to J'fel again and J'rad wasn't going to express any opinion on the young weyrleader so openly. Politics and gossip always found themselves hand in hand and J'rad's position would compromise him to more gossip than some other riders. He wouldn't have such irritation.

Arcaith was fast asleep on his couch, not bothering to stir after the washing that he got. Perhaps if the two were more active any other time of the day, he'd be a more active participant in conversations. However, J'rad preferred it this way. His bronze had meddling tendencies that proved all too obvious considering Althesia was before him now. But J'rad wasn't really going to complain. He found her company more satisfactory than others.

[anhydrous]

It felt strange to be walking next to someone in such proximity, but Althesia had decided that she could learn to like it by the time they had reached J’rad’s weyr. The fondness of such a simple touch was almost like a secret, one that the pair kept from every person they passed. It was a suggestion of something more, the hint of a smile that she wore on her lips only adding to it.

Once they reached the door, Althesia didn’t hesitate to follow her bronzer out to the ledge. It felt natural, really. Of course, what felt more natural was the fact that although he might be leading, it had been her idea in the first place. Without alluding to something inappropriate, the woman spread the blanket out on the stone and dropped into place. Her legs folded under her, the bourbon suddenly at her lips in a stinging gulp.

She heard J’rad’s words around the bottle, eyes glancing up to read his facial expression. Down to business, as usual. She could see a stray thought or two drifting in the back of his mind, so she tugged on his pantleg playfully. “Sit. Not everything must be a chore. Can’t we just talk like friends instead of having an interrogation?” She sounded hopeful, adding another word that wasn’t part of her usual vocabulary. “Please?” It was doubtful that he saw the curious tilt of her eyebrows in the darkness, but perhaps the bright flash of a passing star had clued him in to the subtle change.

It seemed like every time they bothered to speak it was just to glean information from each other. Usually Althesia would be fine with that, not seeing much point otherwise, but it seemed a bit unhealthy to enjoy someone's company so throughly and speak only when it was necessary.

[dragon]

J'rad simply gave a gruff huff and sat beside her. He did, however, lean against her. The bare skin of his arm brushed against her as he looked out of the corner of his eye to see another star go by.

"I suppose not. Let's have a "friendly conversation" then", he spoke to her, perhaps nearly mocking her words but then again this could just be J'rad's usual tone. "So what is it you wanted to talk about, friend?" he asked, using that word on her that she had used. He did find it odd that she had used such a word. Infact, he found it odd that such a word was used in his direction. J'rad wasn't much for friends. But was this a descriptive term of their relationship? Friends? Was that it? Or was it more? Must have been, to do what they did. But knowing Althesia, that could just be a friend in her mind.

He bent one knee as the other leg was stretched out. One hand rested idley on his knee while the other was loosely wrapped around Althesia. To hold her, to lean against her, to feel her. This was all very odd to J'rad, but he wanted it. Just, not in the way that some would think. It was never about sex, it was about the person. The one who reached out to him and offered him something more and showed a glimpse of what true humanity could hold.

[anhydrous]

Althesia sighed, his words stinging more than the bourbon. She bit back a retort, surprised that such a gruff tone could be coupled with his gentle gestures. Her curves obliged his cautious touch, letting his hand settle around her fondly while the woman blinked to clear her head. “Why are you doing this, J’rad?” She asked quietly, truly curious. It didn’t make sense. No matter what he said it was always paired with a touch or a kiss, such tenderness she just couldn’t understand.

Leaning towards him, out of the slight wind that was catching at their bodies out on the ledge, Althesia reached out and barely touched the soft bottom of his lip. Instantly she withdrew her finger, nervous for some reason. “Why can’t you talk to me like you touch me?” She asked gently, eyes trained inquisitively on his scowling face. She was sure that he had reasons, but perhaps what she feared the most was that he wasn’t going to tell her. It was frightening to be so helpless, completely at the mercy of another person. What they chose to tell you was all you were ever going to hear.

For a second she considered how much she was hiding from J’rad, but she fought off the guilt roughly. J’rad had never said that she couldn’t see anyone else. And besides, he had never asked what was on her mind. He didn’t seem to give a damn unless it was useful, and had shot down every attempt in which she had tried to talk of herself. That hardly seemed right. Wasn’t a person supposed to be curious? She certainly was, but every time she asked a question it was met with the same irritated scowl.

[dragon]

J'rad pulled back just a little to look at her. He surely would have spoken up, but her finger found it's way just around his lower lip. It certainly was nice to be touched by her. But he had to admit even he was a bit confused by the question. The actions themselves came so easily to him. The words, didn't seem to be so. He knew what he wanted, but he just didn't speak in that manner. Perhaps he was contradicting in what he did and what he said.

"The simplest and best answer I can give is that I'm not a man of words and that it's my actions that speak louder", he finally gave an answer, that overbearing confidence taken down a knot or two over an indecisive answer. He turned from looking into her eyes as he spoke to her, to looking back to catch another star as it went by. It certainly was a sight to behold, J'rad couldn't help but actually have some interest in it.

"But", he spoke and turned to her again, "Let's try a hand at regular conversation. What's a good conversation starter?" He thought on this for a moment before finally answering. "How was your day?", was the first and only question to come to mind. He didn't care if he could do better, just satisfied that he could get one out. It couldn't be said that he wasn't trying for this woman. For some reason he did seek to please her, just not in the way she thought she needed. What she could easily get from any other man.

J'rad pulled in closer to her again and allowing his hand to find just the right curve that it would fit perfectly in as it began to move back and forth in a caressing manner. He leaned in just a little closer to allow the side of his head to rest against hers as he looked out at the starlit sky.

[anhydrous]

If Althesia had been holding her breath for a heartfelt moment of admittance, she let it go when he began his reply with ‘the simplest and best answer I can give..’

She grabbed for her bourbon, the sting fading into numbness at the back of her throat by the time he had actually asked her a question. She rolled her eyes at his attempt, letting him get a few good caresses in before she pushed away his hand and fell back to lay on the blanket. “My day got better as soon as I met you out by the lake,” she said honestly, deciding that the question did hold some merit.

Above her the vast sky stretched in all directions, threatening to swallow her in its endlessness. She abandoned rational thought for now, knowing that it held nothing but more unanswered questions. At that realization the woman took another sip of bourbon sideways out of the bottle, quick to tip it up before it overflowed from her mouth down her neck.

“How was yours?” She asked after she had swallowed the alcohol, watching the long tail of one of the comets burn off out of her vision. From his perspective the stars seemed to be chasing each other, darting across the sky in some sort of race.

[dragon]

J'rad allowed her to lay back, but did not do the same. He stayed in the same posture he was in, though the hand that held her now only rested lazily on her. Perhaps she was not pleased with his answer. Well as far as J'rad was concerned she could get over it. He would do his best, and she would simply have to be satisfied.

He simply nodded at the answer she gave him to his question. How very simple it was and really went into no detail at all. But she posed the question back at him. "Some duties as wingsecond, then bathing Arcaith, then meeting you out at the lak. It's been satisfactory, and it did get better once I was with you", he spoke dutifully at first, but then honestly at the end.

"So what did you do before meeting me at the lake? Surely you didn't just lay in my bed all day or stay in my weyr?", perhaps the questions were spoken in some jealousy or suspiscion, but with J'rad struggling to sound anything but irritable and angry it was hard to tell. He did, however, really want to know about her day.

[anhydrous]

Disappointment colored Althesia’s face at mention of the great bronze beast. “You gave Arcaith a bath?” She queried with a pout. “It’s too bad that I was busy,” the woman mused, taking a sip of bourbon. She had been busy stealing the bottle of alcohol, but she didn’t mention that. Instead she finished her thought, which was much more appropriate. “You know that he likes it when I help.” She knew that Arcaith felt positively spoiled when two people washed him at once, although the croons of pleasure that signaled such a thing were always viewed distastefully by J’rad.

Upon answering the questions that had been posed to her, Althesia tried not to sound suspicious. Her tone was distinctly casual at mention of the weyrleader. “J’fel called me to his weyr to talk about the commission,” she replied simply, one hand curled protectively around her bourbon.

That guilt that she had so easily cast away earlier was beginning to gnaw on her conscious, however regretful she was to admit it. She tried to change the subject to get her mind off of it. “Then I tried to find the headwoman and request some sturdy wood pieces in order to stretch the canvas for the painting.” Her words were a cover, falsely bored, but after turns upon turns of insincerity it was probably pretty convincing. Nervous of his reaction, Althesia tugged on the back of his shirt, her fingertips barely brushing the skin of his lower back. It wasn’t vulgar, just tender. She wanted him close. His limp hand across her stomach wasn’t enough.

[dragon]

J'rad could only roll his eyes at the mention of his spoiled bronze. "Arcaith likes attention", did he sound almost possesive of his dragon? Probably. J'rad admitted his one true love was his bronze beast as much as his actions and words may have denied it. "But perhaps next time you can help bathe him", he tried to speak lightly, without any tone. No tone was better than a negative one, right?

J'rad let a scowl cross his features at the mention of the weyrleader, but laid down next to Althesia if only to please her and to get her to stop tugging the fabric of his shirt. How very self centered. "So what of this commission? You mentioned it earlier. What all did J'fel want?", he asked of her, trying to hold back the angry tone at the mention of the young weyrleader. It was apparent J'rad didn't care for him at all. But did this extend to the weyrwoman? And what of the previous weyrleader? Surely J'rad had issues with everyone though.

As he had leaned back to lay down next to Althesia, one arm went underneath her head. In such a position he moved his arm so that she would be closer and even lean on him. The other hand that was so content with resting on her stomach now held one of her hands.

[anhydrous]

The harper smiled quietly at J’rad’s irritated quip of her words about Arcaith, knowing that the bronze meant more to him than anything else. It was clear enough by the way his hand rested on the beast’s side when he stood next to him, even if his words were harsh. She chose not to say anything, leaning her head against his chest instead.

Recalling facts, Althesia spoke rapidly. “He wanted a four-by-six foot oil painting of his dragon paired with the senior queen,” a silent mental addition meant only for herself, ’oh, and to f**k me.’ She rolled her eyes in the darkness at such a thought, when in all honesty she knew that J’fel probably tried to bed any young female that walked into his room. It didn’t feel good to speculate that she was merely one of many, but he was so damn pretty. It almost cancelled it out.

“He said he was going to hang it in the living cavern during hatching feasts,” she said with a sigh. Her own opinions on that choice didn’t really matter, but she offered them anyway. “It seems like he wants to stake his claim on the weyrleader position, but I’m afraid that all my hard work is going to be useless if Jordeth loses her next flight.”

After a second she tightened her grip on J’rad’s hand. Perhaps her words had been careless. What she had been trying to stress was her own position in the matter, but J’rad might not see it that way. While she wanted him to care about her painting, she didn’t want to hear him say that he was interested in Pelegaoth’s next rising. Above all else, she didn’t want to hear those words come out of his mouth. Possessive, jealous, call it what you may. Althesia did not want to share her bronzer, not with a queenrider, not with anyone.

[dragon]

J'rad merely grunted in annoyance. That would seem about right. It would make sense the young weyrleader would want to stake his claim. "He thinks he will keep the weyrleader position then. Hrmph", J'rad's irritated and angry tone returned to maximum at such a comment. Let J'fel think he can stake his claim. J'rad had his plans as well.

"Is that all he wanted?", J'rad's tone implied that he wanted the entire truth and detail of what went on. Better for him if he knew there was anything else the young boy was up to, or so he thought.

The hand that was attatched to the arm that was beneath Althesia's head was now playing with the harper's hair while the other hand still held one of hers, gently squeezing it on occassion. Sometimes J'rad's own actions and movements seemed to have a mind of their own that would oppose the rider's words and even thoughts.

[anhydrous]

Althesia sighed nervously, her unoccupied hand flying to her mouth to relieve some of the tension that her bronzer’s question had suddenly created. Should she tell him? It was doubtful that he really wanted to know what happened, regardless of what he thought that he wanted. She left him waiting while she considered the consequences, distinctly remembering that he hadn’t forbidden it.

A previously foreign desire threatened to overwhelm Althesia while she bit at her nails, drawing blood instantly as her teeth ripped open already ravaged cuticles. “Not exactly..” she replied at length, loosening her grip on J’rad’s hand.

It was unfamiliar to her, but the harper wanted to be trusted. Lies would get her no where, and she knew it. Surely someone had seen her leave the weyrleader’s quarters. Word would get back to J’rad eventually that she had spent more time than she needed to there.

Perhaps it would be better to hear it from her own mouth. “He had eyes for me as well,” she said finally, the words mumbled around her thumb, “And I didn’t exactly discourage him.” Instantly she regretted the decision. Something told her that J’rad wouldn’t appreciate her honesty, even if he had asked for it.

[dragon]

A flame seemed to burn in J'rad's eyes as she spoke further. That young twit had eyes for her? And she didn't discourage him? He was positive what that meant, but he wanted to hold on to some hope. However, his arms retreated from her and he sat up to look down at her.

"What exactly do you mean?", his eyes narrowed as a rough tone came over his voice, seemingly dominating and echoeing off the very walls of his weyr. There was now a stir of emotions inside J'rad that he hadn't really felt before, nor cared to.

To say his dragon didn't feel the sudden change of mood in his rider would be a lie. Arcaith cracked an eye open as he was disturbed from his light sleep. J'rad was angry and it made even the ever joyful Arcaith nervous. Ridermine, what's wrong? The dragon hoped to calm his rider, but the tone seemed to give away that Arcaith was very uncomfortable and unsure about this. Nothing, Arcaith. Those words seemed unnaturally calm for such an angry man.

[anhydrous]

Althesia cringed. She shouldn’t have said anything. As J’rad’s arm was removed from behind her head, she glanced up to his scowl and quickly looked back towards the hand she was gnawing instead. Nervously she sat up next to him, removing her fingers from her mouth and spitting the calloused skin that she had bitten off of the side of the ledge.

Staring back into J’rad’s anger, Althesia bit her lower lip compulsively. She didn’t want him to look at her like that. It was more painful than he knew. Instead of spelling out exactly what had happened and incur any more of her bronzer’s boundless wrath, Althesia attempted to counter him. “You said that you would go after queenriders,” she asserted calmly, trying to defend herself. “And I didn’t want to offend him.” While that might not technically be genuine, there was undeniable truth to her next point. “After all, he could have me sent back to the harperhall on a passing whim.” Her voice wavered slightly, noticing the glint of light that reflected from Arcaith’s opened eye. Shards. It couldn’t be good if J’rad’s anger had woken his dragon.

Althesia’s eyes were pleading for her bronzer to stay calm, but she was worried that might be beyond him at this point. “You want me to stay here, don’t you?” Her query was a quiet one, shoulders hunched in, submissive even in the way she tucked her chin in towards her chest. There was a time to fight battles, but this particular moment wasn’t the wisest one. At least, not yet.

[dragon]

J'rad's eyes seemed lit with a greater flame now. His fists clinched as he went to stand. How dare she sleep with that man slut, was all his thoughts seemed to be at that moment. His teeth were gritted and jaw tight. J'rad was clearly not happy with what had happened.

"So a wingsecond wasn't good enough?! You had to go screw the weyrleader himself?!", J'rad seemed completely enveloped in his anger, wrapped around him like a snug and oversized blanket. He went to walk off some distance. He wanted to pound something, he wanted to throw something. Found something he did, though. A nearby wall was an unexpected target but J'rad's right fist slammed into it, seeming to vibrate and echoe throughout the weyr. Even the mighty bronze beast flinched at his rider's actions.

However, hearing her plea and hearing Arcaith's own pleading, J'rad calmed for a moment. He let his fist rest hard against the wall, sure that either stone or bone cracked. She was right, he was going to sleep with a goldrider. Heck, his plans even involved that. But there was a difference, albeit a shoddy excuse. J'rad's voice was unpleasantly and uncomfortably calm. "I've no choice. I'm a dragonrider. Though you don't see me knocking at Aderes' weyr do you?", J'rad spoke quietly and honestly, but it was enough to be heard by her.

He let out a loud sigh and only stared at the wall before him. What was he to think? Althesia just slept with the weyrleader. Someone J'rad really didn't favor, though J'rad didn't favor many people. But she was right. He was going to sleep with a goldrider should he catch a queen. He seemed almost as possessive as the woman though. His thoughts seemed overwhelmed and a knot formed in his stomach. He really didn't know what to do besides stare at this wall that he attacked out of sheer anger.

He felt nearly nausiated, almost betrayed. But he was conflicted. He couldn't really deny how he really felt now. This woman had to be something more than a friend to him. She had to mean something if he reacted in such a way. J'rad was unstable, his usual air of confidence had left him and now he was surrounded by uncertainty. But surely this wouldn't last long.